Wednesday, May 12, 2010

Tonight I was reminded in an exceptionally painful way that comparing myself to others only leads to hurt and grand feelings of inadequacy. My comfort and conviction in the midst of my insecurity was this:

Therefore, brothers, since we have confidence to enter the holy places by the blood of Jesus, by the new and living way that he opened for us through the curtain, that is, through his flesh, and since we have a great priest over the house of God, let us draw near with a true heart in full assurance of faith, with our hearts sprinkled clean from an evil conscience and our bodies washed with pure water. Let us hold fast the confession of our hope without wavering, for he who promised is faithful. And let us consider how to stir up one another to love and good works, not neglecting to meet together, as is the habit of some, but encouraging one another, and all the more as you see the Day drawing near.-- Hebrews 10:19-25

How does this relate at all to the dilemma in which I found myself earlier today? Well I am glad you ask. It is easy for me to compare my talents to other's and to seek accolades for them when I am feeling down. My confidence does not come from the success I experience from or in my talents. My hope is not in flesh or any other earthly thing, but in the blood of Jesus Christ and the purification it rendered in my soul. There is no room for love when envy resides in my heart. So instead of being envious (or to use that gross word, jealous) of the gifts and talents that my brothers and sisters have, I can come to them in love and good works and encourage them. I long desperately to love my brothers and sisters in a way that edifies them, so jealousy has to go out the window. And though I know it will creep back up, right now I'm not the slightest bit sad to see it go.

A parting thought for the day: God is beautiful and perfect and has lavished more love and mercy and forgiveness on me than I can take. I often neglect to recognize His beauty and when I do, I forget to forgive others and lavish that same mercy and love on them. Revel in His beauty!

Friday, May 7, 2010

Faith my eyes

The words in this post did not pour out from my own mind, rather from one who has caused me to often stop and praise God for His perfection and grace. I have only met this man once, and it is very likely I will never see him again, but God gifted him with a mighty pen that causes me to stand in wonder. I hope this causes worship to spring forth from your lips.

Today, the heat was turned back up.

News came this afternoon that workers across five separate cities were informed that they must leave the country immediately. A new wave of persecution has hit this nation with the announcement of a second "list". The first list resulted in the expulsion of over 40 foreign brothers. The first list resulted in the traumatic closing of a local orphanage. The first list caused many national brothers to be jailed, tortured, and closely watched.

This week I have had the opportunity to come together with a group of believers to practice crafting Bible stories under the leadership of a skilled trainer. As our group has storied through the book of Acts, we have seen the amazing results of persecution in the early church. Persecution results in Spirit-filled worship and the spread of the good news of Jesus!
" 'And now, Lord, take note of their threats, and grant that Your bond-servants may speak Your word with all confidence'... And when they had prayed, the place where they had gathered together was shaken, and they were all filled with the Holy Spirit and began to speak the word of God with boldness." - Acts 4:29, 31
"They flogged them and ordered them not to speak in the name of Jesus, and then released them. So they went on their way from the presence of the Council, rejoicing that they had been considered worthy to suffer shame for His name." - Acts 5:40-41
"And on that day a great persecution began against the church in Jerusalem, and they were scattered... those who had been scattered went about preaching the word." - Acts 8:1a, 4

Yet despite this knowledge, news of more persecution ties my insides up in knots. I swallow the rotten fruit of uncertainty that travels to my stomach and spreads through my entire body in an ache of distrust. I want justice. I want retribution. I want fair treatment. But God does not work for my glory, only His own. God is jealous for His glory and I am but His bond-servant.

He awoke, but to a dream. As one transcending physical boundaries to wander outside himself, he searched the room expecting to find his own sleeping body. Instead, he discovered an angel. It was a vision! Just like the rooftop weeks ago, his hairs stood as a cold sweat wrapped his body in shivers. His consciousness dulled from sleep, he did not at first understand the words spoken by this angel. "Get up!" repeated the angel kicking his side.

He knew nothing but to obey. He knew not where he was. He knew not why or when or how. He simply knew that an angel had spoken and he had no cause to contradict. As he stood, chains crashed to the floor alerting him to two men standing on either side of him. Large men, soldiers heavily armed. His sudden fright was stifled almost immediately as not a muscle even twitched on any one of the soldiers. Chains loud enough to wake the dead had no effect on these dormant combatants.

By the light of the angel, he dressed himself and followed. Passing through the door into a brightly lit stone hallway, he glanced back to see a small, dark cell guarded by a squad of sleeping soldiers inside and a squad outside. As he followed closely, the angel entered a courtyard passing two more squads of unconscious guards. At the head of the courtyard was a large iron gate opening toward them. Entering the city, day turned to night as he stumbled falling painfully to the city road. The light borne by the angel had disappeared!

The angel himself was nowhere in sight, yet the dream did not end. But had it been a dream? Consciousness was now fully functioning as he understood the truth. It was all real! The jail. The angel. The escape. Yes, the escape. He was free from not only jail, but the trial to be held in the morning. Surely he was to be sentenced to death in the very same way his good friend James had been. It was a day of rejoicing amongst the religious leaders when James received the sword. And here he was, free. Unbound in the middle of the night on the city road.

Days earlier word had reached him that brothers all over the city were gathering day and night to pray fervently. He quickly picked himself up and made for the house of the mother of John Mark. Sure enough, the lights were still on even at this late hour. He knocked on the door to the welcome of John Mark's servant girl. "Peter? Is it really you!" Before he could respond she ran off calling frantically throughout the house, "Peter is here! He is here at the door!!" Within minutes, he had told the group everything. This story spread throughout the city amongst believers and unbelievers alike. Praise for God and sharing of the good news abounded.

And as a result, "the word of the Lord continued to grow and to be multiplied."

Last week I had the privilege of meeting a brother who has suffered under this present persecution. After an initial questioning he was blindfolded and taken far from his home. This Spirit-filled brother was stripped naked and blasted with water from a fire hose. After questioning him, the authorities beat him and left him in a small cell to rethink his answers. The process was repeated for three days. In the two months since then, he has traveled throughout the country praising God to be counted worthy to suffer shame for His name.

I fear for other brothers who may endure such treatment. Two of my close friends and brothers have serious medical issues, yet they patiently persevere under the watchful eye of the religious FBI. I fear for their lives, yet just what is the cost of national spiritual awakening? What must my brothers suffer to see this people know Spirit-filled worship and the spread of the good news of Jesus? And how in the midst of it all must I pray?

I can not pray for persecution, I love my brothers too much to want to see them suffer. But knowing it is here, I can pray for God to use it to His glory for the building of His church. The believers in the early church did not pray for persecution, but when it came they scattered bearing the good news of Jesus Christ. Wherever they were, they came together with one heart and mind to worship God. And so this patterned has been followed throughout history, most recently amongst our Chinese brothers who now number 30-50 million. We do not pray for persecution, we pray that God will teach His people to take advantage of it.

For the past three years I have prayed for this nation. I have often sensed the Spirit telling me that a time is coming when the church will grow in an amazing outpouring of grace. Perhaps we are on the brink. A seesaw teetering, waiting for that catalystic ounce of weight that will turn the entire apparatus on an unalterable course. Perhaps it will be this persecution that, like Rome, Northern Europe, and America, tips the scales to a Great Awakening.

By whatever means necessary the number one priority should be Spirit-filled worship and spreading the good news of Jesus. After all, that is His number one priority. What is at stake is the glory of the one true God. What is not at stake is the health, happiness, or prosperity of any one believer or group. May God use whatever means necessary to spread His fame. And may we pray appropriately, taking advantage of these times to seek His glory.

Monday, April 26, 2010

Undeserving

GOD PURSUES ME. Even when I scorn Him and show Him how little I love Him, even when I pursue everything but Him, He pursues me. He loves me. His love is perfect and lovely, and He lavishes it upon me, the undeserving one.

Sunday, April 25, 2010

Till the Sun Turns Black

I sat down at my desk tonight to create:to worship God by putting pencil to paper and experiencing wholly what resulted from it. Nothing lovely or intricate came from the tip of my pencil, but an overwhelming sense of the importance of creativity flooded me. God created me. He knit me together as a piece of art that serves one function: bringing pleasure and glory to Him. I fulfill that purpose perfectly. That is ludicrous right? In view of my outrageous sin and utter inability to think of anyone except myself, despite fervent effort, the idea that I fulfill my purpose of pleasing God perfectly is ridiculous. Here is the rub though. When God looks at me, He doesn't see my sin or my selfishness. He sees His perfect son who was the unblemished sacrifice. He sees His own glory presented before Him in my place. He loves me where I am because He created me, and He loves me where I will one day be because then I will stand before Him, absolutely righteous and empty of sin.
It still drops me to my knees to realize that HE LOVES ME.