Thursday, September 2, 2010

Confessions of a ...

Today was an excruciatingly hard day. It was the kind of day that makes reality seem like a figment, and makes me absolutely resent everything that goes on within my mind.
I feel like I lead three separate lives: one at school and etc., one at work, and one that really only exists in my head.  They rarely coincide, despite the fact that I live all three in one day, and often even simultaneously.  Today two of my worlds took shocking blows, right to the left eyebrow, and I've been left feeling nauseous and uncertain.  The problem, however, is not really that I got punched in the face, because I am, by nature, a boxer. The problem arises in my attempts to address the ramifications of the shots, i.e, the blood dripping down my shirt.  After the first hit I tried to get a little help stopping the blood and cleaning up the mess, but it was made infinitely worse. You see, the person I so eagerly pursued for help unintentionally (or maybe intentionally) elbowed me on the side of the face . (Now this analogy is getting confusing and beginning to fall apart, but I feel I must hold it together for the sake of my own security.)  And this second blow crippled me.  It ripped out all of my sanity and left me lying on the floor of an alternate reality.  Nothing in the former reality was (or is) tangible, and this new reality is spinning in such a way that I can't get back up. My soul seems to hurt, and resentment for that elbow and its owner is quietly growing within me.
I don't like leaving things without conclusion, but that is where I am left.

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